Friday, October 16, 2009

In Reply to Banana Anne. . .

Insha'Allah, we will both have the courage to tell our families as soon as possible.
I don't think I ever mentioned this on this blog, but I told my parents when I first converted, and they threw a fit and nearly threw me out of the house. Sooo, THAT is why I keep it a secret. I'll tell them when I'm independent and I'll hope they don't disown me.

One of these days, could you maybe write a post on how you get around praying and fasting without your family finding out? I would love to hear about that.
I didn't. -Shame.- I prayed when my family wasn't home, but my dad was around home a LOT when I still lived there, so that meant I didn't pray like at all, except on rare occasions. I started to pray regularly when I moved out, which was before Ramadan, alhamdulillah! I also went to Jumma for the first time after moving out. I'm very bad at sneaking around and lying, so um. . . I didn't. . . .

Also, do you wear hijab when your parents are around? I am assuming you don't
I don't wear hijab, period. I wear it when I'm around only Muslims (like, I wore it at the Eid party I went to), but I don't wear it when around my parents, or even if not. We live in a fairly small city, so even if I'm not technically seeing them, they could run into me, or someone we both know could. It's too dangerous. I do, however, dress modestly. I dress like a non-abaya hijabi would, just without the scarf. I wear long sleeve tops and either long skirts or long tops/short dresses over pants. When I visit my parents, I dress in whatever I know they would feel is appropriate for the season. . If it's warm, I wear short sleeves, but ONLY for when I'm there. I also don't wear dresses over pants when around them because my mom thinks it makes me look homeless. I'm sure she knows I still do it, but I don't do it in front of her because OMG I MIGHT EMBARRASS HER! My parents don't object to my love for maxi skirts, though.

If I do end up leaving the country for the summer, I plan to wear it. I'll take it off for touristy photos, since I know they'll expect photos, but I'll keep it on otherwise. Hoping this happens. (:

The following picture was NOT drawn by me, and I don't know who drew it, and I can remove it if it's yours and you object. I think it's a good picture:
Kind of a cross between these.


  1. Wow, a post devoted to questions I asked! I feel so loved! :)

    Oh wow, I didn't realize that your folks actually knew about the conversion. I haven't had the courage to tell them at all yet. I tried to this summer (I even made arrangements with my best friend to stay at her house if my parents kicked me out), but my parents didn't want to talk. They said that they would never disown me, but they could give me the silent treatment and not want to see me for a while, which I want to avoid.

    Alhamdulillah that you were able to start praying! Believe me, I know how hard it is to try and hide something like prayer and fasting. Astaghfirullah, I actually dreaded prayer time because I was so afraid that this would be the time my parents would find out. Ev en though it was SO hard to do this, I knew I had to; it was the only way I could express my Islam while I was at home, and I didn't want to drift away from my beloved religion. I am terrible at lying, but (I hate to say this, and it's a terrible thing to admit to) I have gotten better at it because I have had to do it.

    About the hijab: I am in the same boat. I am a full-time hijabi at school, but when I'm at home it goes off and stays off (even when I'm out of the house, I can't risk any of my parents' friends running into me). My mom says the same thing about dresses and pants, how it's really ugly. She hates when I wear long skirts, too. One time when I wore short sleeves, she actually started crying because she was so happy. That just killed me in so many ways.

    All my pictures on Facebook are of me without hijab, because my mom randomly checks it. I do the same for tourist pictures; one time I was in a museum, and I took my hijab off in front of everyone so I could get a picture of myself to show my parents. I think people were shocked!

    I LOVE that cartoon that you posted; I have seen the entire thing and the different styles are so true! At home I am the "no hijab" girl, and at school I am the "hijab chique/mini-qubeisa (without the mini trademark glare!)".

  2. is so difficult to cover your all body in USA?