Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I'm Risking It

I think I'm going to "come out," so to speak. What happens happens. Worst case scenario, I move in with my aunt, put off school for a couple years, and study languages while saving money. . . I'm sure my parents will forgive me and accept my decision in time. But now I wonder when to do it. I'm really scared to do it in general. . . Maybe I should do it the weekend following Eid. Soon, but without feeling guilty for tearing family ties before Eid. It's silly, really, since I won't be celebrating Eid, anyway. Looks like I'll be stuck in shopping hell and going to my hometown.

I may tell them when we get back into town. I'm really nervous. Please make du'a for me!

Maybe I should start posting as my nickname. Maybe I should wait until after. . .


  1. Masha'Allah, I'm proud of you for coming to this decision. As a word of caution, though: do be prepared for it not working out. I intended to tell my parents over the summer (not that I converted, but that I still wanted to convert--I couldn't bring myself to tell them that I had been lying to them for a year), and they were so angry/vehemently opposed to it that I ended up not telling them. I am a major chicken, though, so Insha'Allah you're stronger and it will work out for you. Now is the time to make a lot of du'a and ask ALLAH for help in telling your family. I will be making du'a for you as well. <3

  2. I expect the worst. But I figure they will eventually forgive me/accept my decision, and the longer I put it off, the longer I stay depressed just thinking about it happening. If I get it over with, their acceptance will come sooner and will save me a lot of hurt in the long run. I'm already making extensive plans to move.

    Thank you so much Anne <3

  3. As salam alaykum Sister,
    ask Allah for strength and remember that after hardship comes ease! I'll keep you in my duas.

    Inshallah it will be fine.. Maybe your parents will freak out at first but inshallah they'll accept your decision after a while...

  4. That's what I'm hoping for. (: And thanks

  5. I'll keep you in my duaas sis. And yeah they could be angry just be prepared because its tough to stand alone. make sure you have some sort of support, like your aunt (i hope she's okay with you being muslim inshaAllah).

  6. She is. (: Her husband is especially understanding, since his brother is a Muslim convert and he came close to converting at several points in his life. And they're all just really open-minded people all around. :D

  7. oh good alhumdulillah! stay strong and ask Allah for the strength, they might say hurtful things but just know they could be scared and dont understand your decision. InshaAllah it will work out for you. Allah keep you firm and on the path inshaAllah.

  8. Asselamu Aleykum Mediha, I am reading your blog and I understood that you were in depression. You were losing everyone. It is very difficult position. But this is a cause of trial.

    Thou wilt not find any people who believe in Allah and the Last Day, loving those who oppose Allah and His Messenger, even though they were their fathers or their sons, or their brothers, or their kindred. For such He has written Faith in their hearts, and strengthened them with a spirit from the before Him. And He will admit them to Gardens beneath which Rivers flow, to dwell therein (for ever). Allah will be well pleased with them, and they with Him. They are the Party of Allah. Truly it is the Party of Allah that will achieve Success. (Al-Mujádala, 22)

    If you have a saheeh faith, you never love the enemy of Islam. In a heart, faith and the feeling of love in the enemy of Islam never stand together. We are Muslim and Muttaqi people, Elhamdulillah. We are the walee (friend) of Allah. We never are walee of Satan. Kaafirs are never walee of us. We must break these relations with Kaafirs if relations damage Islam. You can see Uhud war and Badir War. Abu Ubayde killed Father, Abdullah bin Cerrah; Musab bin Umeyr killed his brother, Hadrad Umar killed his uncle (brother in his mother), As bin Hisham.

    This is worthy those losing friends as you were a Muslim. But this is not theory. Islam is not theory or practice. Theory never expressed absoluteness. But Islam is the absolute true way. All of judgment of Islam is absolute true.

    You should be patient and make a dua to Allah. I know that it is very difficult situation to have problems in your family after embracing Islam with sincerity. We are Muslims; have to self-sacrificing people out of Islam for gaining the Consent of Allah.

    …. On no soul doth Allah place a burden greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns... (Pray:) (2:286)

    We never place a burden greater than we can bear. We never fall under very heavy burden relating worship.

    You can bear these burdens with The Help of Allah.

    We should be attached to Islam firmly. We should be attached to Quran and Sunnah.

    We never give up living Islam according to Islam. Already, we alone live Islam according to Islam. We never live Islam according to our mind, view, interpretation, and understanding.

  9. I'll keep you in my prayers sister. Ask Allah for strenght and you will be good. Good luck... We are all here with you!

  10. be patient.....
    be patient

  11. Eid Mubarak...