My name is Maddie. It's short for Madison, but I posted here as Madiha for a while, and eh. I really just like being called Maddie. I don't like Madison, and Madiha is nicer, but I'm not fond of it either. So, Maddie.
I have weak iman, but I'm working on it. . . Sporadically. . . I sometimes go days on end without praying, which I know is bad. I don't want to be told it's bad, because that's obvious. But I would love advice on how to pull through. (: I'm very weak. I didn't buckle during the horrible week I had last week, but when I saw the actions of some Muslims, my faith was shaken. I know that's ridiculous, but I don't know what to do.
I'm 19 (my birthday was this last Sunday) and I am a college. . . junior, I believe? I took community college courses for duel credit during my last two years of high school, if you wonder why I'm freshman age and a junior. I should still take 2.5 - 3 years to graduate, though, because the classes I needed to progress in my major weren't offered at the community college. . . Plus, I just recently decided to switch my minor from Anthropology to Spanish. And I actually need to change the focus of my major. I was majoring in writing, but now I'm planning to study linguistics. Shouldn't be that big of a deal, since it's all English. But you still have to make it official. Blah.
I'm currently learning Mandarin. It's hard, but I like it. I can read and hear better than I can speak or write. I can never say what a tone is on a word, but I somehow manage to pronounce it right from memory. I don't know how that works. I have a final tomorrow, and this post is procrastination on studying for it. (:
Back on being Muslim: I'm slow. I'm a part time prayer, a girl who still needs to make up her Ramadan fasts, and a part time halal eater. At the new year, I plan to be a part time hijabi. The goal is to eventually be full time in all of these, but I don't know when that will happen. I'm considering going back and trying to pray before worrying about anything else. Hmm.
I also always forget to say "Bismillah" before eating, and "Alhamdulillah" after. I don't know why. Even when I stare at my plate and think, "It's halal!" (ie: remembering Islam), I always forget to say those. Ugh.
I should study.
I kind of sort of fail at Hanzi. In previous tests, Li Laoshi (李老师！！！！ Look how fancy I am!!! "Teacher Li") always gave us the characters in other spots, so there may be one or two we wouldn't know. But um, not sure if the final will be the same! Blah.
I can remember the characters we learned early on. . . WAY early on. I can read pretty much all of them, both knowing the meaning and the pronunciation. But I can't remember how to write. Yeee.